Wendy Syndrome: Excess liability
Just as there is the Peter Pan syndrome, which refers to those who refuse to grow up and become adults, there is the opposite case, people assume more responsibilities for the due and believe that without their protection toward third persons, these are not well protected.
This behavior is called Wendy syndrome and usually affects women more than men. Often these two syndromes are complemented, since a Wendy seeking overprotect can arise a Peter Pan, and at the same time a Peter Pan who seeks the backing of a Wendy that assumes his own responsibilities.
Dan Kiley, an American psychologist, studied Peter Pan syndrome, known as a trauma that blocks the child’s emotional maturity. The adult who suffers from this disorder is reluctant to accept the obligations and roles of age, which ends up affecting their social relationships.
What is the Wendy syndrome
Jaime Lira inquired about the Wendy syndrome, that is to say, that they suffer from people who focus their lives on the care, protection and control of others. Although the most common is that men correspond to the Peter Pan syndrome and women with the Wendy syndrome, they can also occur indistinctly in the different sexes, although they occur in less proportion.
While there are people who have fear of getting older, there are others that are overloaded both responsibilities and desire to satisfy the others are so large that their behavior results in what is called Wendy syndrome.
Characteristics of Wendy Syndrome
In general, more women than men who suffer Wendy syndrome due to cultural issues, and this is mainly manifested in the absolute need to satisfy the other, especially with reference to the partner or children.
A person who is suffering with this syndrome feels responsible for the welfare of others, as he believes that without his help could not achieve this.
These people do not control the direction of his life and focus control of others, and often, the source of all this comes from the family’s past. If he is a small person who felt excluded and unprotected, is likely to acquire the role of adult hand and deal with it to meet their own shortcomings of the past.
These people also have a great sense of guilt when they see that they can not have everything under control and see their loved ones are not fully comfortable. But on the other hand, fear of rejection, abandonment and also does not feel loved acting this way only interested in pleasing everyone.
It is difficult to detect this type of behavior because the people themselves who suffer may not identify themselves in this situation, but must be controlled in some way because it can lead to a depression or a state of frustration.
This syndrome can lead to emotional disorders such as low self-esteem or insecurity, and that is why we should be treated with counseling, to enhance the value of that person and learn to say no.
Many times, the existence of a person with Wendy Syndrome also means that there is a Peter Pan in his life that will make all the things that he does and be responsible for what he does not want to assume.
How to overcome Wendy Syndrome
Should we perhaps stop taking care of others? Or to worry about the beings we love? Absolutely. That never. Our partners, our family and, especially, our children, are those people who are part of our lives, who identify us and who are indisputable pillars in our day to day life.
Now, in all our personal relationships we must have a balance and take these aspects into account:
- Do not forget the importance of promoting your personal growth, of having your space, your hobbies, of defending your values and of taking care of your self-esteem. If you give everything for others, you will remain empty. Then dissatisfaction, frustration and sadness will come. What do you do then for others if you are unhappy? You’re welcome.
- If you are a person who is proud of yourself, if you feel happy, with a good self-esteem and with autonomy to take responsibility for yourself, you will also contribute to all this positive energy, all these emotions in an appropriate way.
- You can take care of your partner, the person you love. However, keep in mind that you also deserve to be taken care of, recognized and valued. It is a game of forces where both must win and never lose. If you are one of those who feel happy taking care of others, remember that you must start first with yourself. If you fall, others fall. Cultivate your happiness and, then, you will also be able to offer happiness.
Treatment of Wendy Syndrome
As is common in the world of psychology, there is no single treatment for Wendy’s syndrome, but in general it will be necessary to apply different methods and strategies to reduce the symptoms and solve the problems it creates.
On the one hand, it is common beginning with a cognitive restructuring; that is, helping the patient to change their beliefs about love, relationships, their difficulties in life and the way to deal with them. This is usually compounded by assertiveness and social skills training.
On the other hand, in recent years many therapists have chosen to use a more mindfulness-based approach. This type of treatment aims to help the person to live with their emotions, no matter how negative, and make them act in ways that are congruent with their most important values.
Normally, Wendy’s syndrome does not usually require pharmacological intervention, as it is not a recognized disorder. However, in the most extreme cases or in those that cause problems such as depression or anxiety, the use of antidepressants or anxiolytics may be chosen as a complement to therapy.
Note: Before taken any medicine please contact with your physician.